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From: rhendel@king.mcs.drexel.edu (Russell Hendel)
Date: Sun, 21 Jul 1996 19:36:32 -0400
Subject: Modern Educational Theory, Rebbeim, and Secular Subjects

What is superior sensitivity in Rabbinic responses to questions?:

S1--SENSITIVITY 1: Try and respond in such a manner as to get the person
to do as many Mitzvoth as possible.

S2--SENSITIVITY 2: Try and listen to what the person is asking and if
possible provide them with it---do not bombard them with the fact that
they have the "opportunity" to do lots of Mitzvoth and practice Middoth.

I give 3 examples in which I argue that S2 is superior:Examples 2 and 3
come from recent MJs.

EXAMPLE 1: In college a group of students chipped in to buy Pesach
meals.  There was left over money. The chairman of the meal committee
announced that the excess money would go to Charity.

Not being involved (I went home that Pesach) I protested that Charity
should not be forced on people...rather, the money should be allocated
in some fair way and returned to the students. After a lengthy debate
(including a debate on whether the matter should be solved by going to a
Rabbi/ Bethdin) the students got their money back (Some thanked me and
when I asked them why they didn't speak up they explained they were
embarrased to speak against Tzedakah)

EXAMPLE 2: It was reported that a person davened Maariv three times in a
Shivah house and when she asked a Sheilah (if she had to always daven
maariv because it was like a neder) was told yes (and her husband thinks
it fantastic).(S1)

But several people have suggested that since she asked she really didn't
want to continue the practice forever and maybe it would be better to
find a heter (S2).

EXAMPLE 3: Recently a person, Anonymous, mentioned she had taken a vow
at 12 to always cover her head. Now at 22 she was upset because she went
to a synagogue where her Talith looked very peculiar; she said she broke
her vow but "had a blast".

In response to her question a woman of 40 suggested that she had lived
like that for a long time and offered her the possibility of shairing
with her.  Another person then commented what sensitivity was displayed
at the offer.

In my mind however Anonymous clearly stated that "she had a blast" at
living differently and felt compelled to violate her vow.  I believe
that real sensitivity dictates finding her a heter (not making her
aware that she really wants to behave differently).

These three examples suggest serious discussion about what the goals of
a Posayk should be when they have options and what real sensitivity is.

In closing I respectfully point out that the mystics when they wished to
coin a term for Moses could find no pithier expression then THE FAITHFUL
SHEPARD (Reayah Mehaymnah) which as the Sages explain refer to Moses
listening capacity (since a Shepard must "infer" a sheeps need from its
behavior).