(c) Apr 18 2001 RashiYomi Inc. MY COLLECTED & INDEXED MAIL JEWISH POSTINGS-Ver #1
Individual Postings 1st appeared(& were copied in html form) on the Email List Mail Jewish

From: rhendel@mcs.drexel.edu (Russell Hendel)
Date:
Subject: Some LAMDUS: BUSINESS vs MARRIAGE: Getting along vs Growth

Just a minor point (stated in Talmudic form) on the discussion of the
couple where one is more religious than the other. We must distinguish
between a BUSINESS relationship and a MARRIAGE relationship.

In A BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP: We try and get along with people who may
have totally different life styles and beliefs than us. In a MARRIAGE
RELATIONSHIP (by contrast) we try and grow..that is, we try and
encourage each other to develop our hidden resources that we are
embarrassed to show in less intimate relationships.

As an example: I *WOULD BE* hesitant to e.g. volunteer to do something
that I have not done in the past and am not good at if I am in the
business world So e.g. if I never made a web site I wouldn't volunteer
to do it for the business I would be afraid of failure.

BUT..in a marriage I *WOULD* try and volunteer for those things that I
have not done and my spouse WOULD encourage me. If the school or shule
needed a web site (and I had wanted to learn but didn't think I could
pull thru) then my spouse WOULD encourage me (and I might succeed)

There is also a common denominator between businesses and
marriages...the people involved are usually GOOD people...there is
nothing wrong with my business associates not encouraging me in areas
where I am weak.

So..to get back to the marriage with different observance levels...they
might both be good people..but their marriage COULDN'T be good...they
cannot encourage each other on the the most basic things in life (and
this is what marriage is all about). EVEN if they don't fight their
children will not have adequate role models and will grow up stunted
(without the atmosphere of freedom seen in children of healthy
relationships).

Russell Jay Hendel; Phd ASA RHendel @ Mcs Drexel edu