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From: rhendel@mcs.drexel.edu (Russell Hendel) Date: Subject: Some LAMDUS: BUSINESS vs MARRIAGE: Getting along vs Growth Just a minor point (stated in Talmudic form) on the discussion of the couple where one is more religious than the other. We must distinguish between a BUSINESS relationship and a MARRIAGE relationship. In A BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP: We try and get along with people who may have totally different life styles and beliefs than us. In a MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP (by contrast) we try and grow..that is, we try and encourage each other to develop our hidden resources that we are embarrassed to show in less intimate relationships. As an example: I *WOULD BE* hesitant to e.g. volunteer to do something that I have not done in the past and am not good at if I am in the business world So e.g. if I never made a web site I wouldn't volunteer to do it for the business I would be afraid of failure. BUT..in a marriage I *WOULD* try and volunteer for those things that I have not done and my spouse WOULD encourage me. If the school or shule needed a web site (and I had wanted to learn but didn't think I could pull thru) then my spouse WOULD encourage me (and I might succeed) There is also a common denominator between businesses and marriages...the people involved are usually GOOD people...there is nothing wrong with my business associates not encouraging me in areas where I am weak. So..to get back to the marriage with different observance levels...they might both be good people..but their marriage COULDN'T be good...they cannot encourage each other on the the most basic things in life (and this is what marriage is all about). EVEN if they don't fight their children will not have adequate role models and will grow up stunted (without the atmosphere of freedom seen in children of healthy relationships). Russell Jay Hendel; Phd ASA RHendel @ Mcs Drexel edu