(c) Apr 18 2001 RashiYomi Inc. MY COLLECTED & INDEXED MAIL JEWISH POSTINGS-Ver #1
Individual Postings 1st appeared(& were copied in html form) on the Email List Mail Jewish

From: Russell Hendel <rhendel@saber.towson.edu>
Date: Tue, 26 Oct 1999 18:50:17 -0400 (EDT)
Subject: re: Mature Love discussions

In v29n89 Yosi Geretz and Gershon Dubin bring up this thread which has
surfaced for a while. I think it would be helpful if people realize that
there are TWO opposing halachic concerns each with vaidity.

--On the one hand dictates of modesty would require no discussions
whatsoever

--On the other hand people have a need to 'read about these things' in
order to improve their own relationships. Today these needs are
fulfilled by movies and TV as well as traditional novels on the
subject. My point simply is that IF a person feels inadequate they may
read such material if the goal is to help their marriage.

Having said that we can next inquire how to balance these two opposing
tendencies. It seems to me that we have a clear halchic directive of HOW
GOOD ARE YOUR TENTS ISRAEL which refers to the fact that these matters
are NOT traditionally discussed in public.

So as a bottom line I would say that
--mature love should NEVER be displayed in public
--there is room for it PROVIDED that particular couple needs it to
improve their relationship
--The community has an obligation to make material accessible that
fulfills the above two criteria.

To formulate it another way, if we object to Mature Love discussions we
should focus on the PUBLICITY of the topic or the lack of specificity of
goal (to help specific people)

Russell Hendel; RJHendel@Juno.Com
Moderator Rashi Is SImple
http://www.shamash.org/rashi