Individual Postings 1st appeared(& were copied in html form) on the Email List Mail Jewish

From: Russell Hendel <rhendel@saber.towson.edu> Date: Tue, 26 Oct 1999 18:50:17 -0400 (EDT) Subject: re: Mature Love discussions In v29n89 Yosi Geretz and Gershon Dubin bring up this thread which has surfaced for a while. I think it would be helpful if people realize that there are TWO opposing halachic concerns each with vaidity. --On the one hand dictates of modesty would require no discussions whatsoever --On the other hand people have a need to 'read about these things' in order to improve their own relationships. Today these needs are fulfilled by movies and TV as well as traditional novels on the subject. My point simply is that IF a person feels inadequate they may read such material if the goal is to help their marriage. Having said that we can next inquire how to balance these two opposing tendencies. It seems to me that we have a clear halchic directive of HOW GOOD ARE YOUR TENTS ISRAEL which refers to the fact that these matters are NOT traditionally discussed in public. So as a bottom line I would say that --mature love should NEVER be displayed in public --there is room for it PROVIDED that particular couple needs it to improve their relationship --The community has an obligation to make material accessible that fulfills the above two criteria. To formulate it another way, if we object to Mature Love discussions we should focus on the PUBLICITY of the topic or the lack of specificity of goal (to help specific people) Russell Hendel; RJHendel@Juno.Com Moderator Rashi Is SImple http://www.shamash.org/rashi